Never Disappointed In You, is a song that I wrote, about how I wanted to look at relationships in the future. This track is a dnb Drum and Bass track, that was one of my first dnb tracks that I wrote, where I was very pleased with the results of it.
The album, is filled with high-energy songs, that have continuous momentum. The song was a journey and search in itself as I progressed to finding the sound I was looking for. My final piece was to learn of a loop masters drum programming pack that was released, by someone who I enjoyed all that they did.
Through Ableton live, I was also invited to learn a free Ableton pack, that was helpful in getting this song produced. Through a culmination of occurrences I was led and guided to find all the pieces that I needed to compose, arrange, and then finally finish this song. As I was able to complete this song, the whole album literally fell in my lap, as I composed one song after the next, with the needed pieces. I only came into a place where I learned to better produce music, as I sought to do so on an ongoing basis.
Dear reader, you should know, that if you put your mind to something, be it good or bad, the possibility of that which your mind is attentive to, becomes a greater possibility, and thus a reality.
The times that you feel you are being led, into one direction or another in life, those times, are simply to let you know, that when things fall in place, you are following a plan. Now some things, they look like they are not going to work out, and you get all upset, and I understand that, as it was many months, and many years between some of my many successes. One time was between 2009 and 2012, between when I wanted to write this style of music, and when it all made sense to me, that it even became natural to write it.
Friend, do not give up, on yourself, or others. I learned an important lesson along the way, hence the title of this track, and that was to decide, that’s right decide. Decide to not give up on people, but to see them through. To not give up on myself, but to see myself through.
Friend, let me tell you, my Father, he was one who gave up on me in a split second. If I didn’t behave, or do exactly as he perceived in his mind, I was a lost cause and capable of nothing. I remember back in 1994, I was standing on his driveway, as I was about to leave, and he said “You are never going to amount to anything, you are not capable of following through on doing anything.”
Friend, those might be hurtful words, and they were, they brought me a lot of pain and grief, but what I had to do, was see past my Father’s limitations of his misunderstandings. He did not realize that I need to have several things in place, before I am able to focus and grow. In fact, I have to live in a space for about 1-2 years before I even start to accomplish anything at all. It takes me 2 years to adjust to my new environment. Now keep in my friend, that it took me about 10-15 years to figure that out.
When my Father said those words to me, that was at a time, when I moved 19 places in 19 years, and I moved in one case, 3 times in a single year. I did not need to justify myself to my Father, but he was not the kindest or gentlest person alive. You may have faced parents who were cruel to you, or who did not treat you with respect, or give you a chance to fail with grace.
I’m sorry if that has happened to you, but you can move on. You can heal, and you can grow past those things, that had happened to you. In the end we are responsible not for what others have done to us, but what we do to others. I’m sorry if you went through hardships, we all make our choices on how we are going to live going forward. I know how my Father got to where he is, he made a choice to me mean, and not forgive when he was younger, and he held grudges and resentments inside his heart. He put all the responsibility of his actions on those he blamed for his pain, and as he got older, he cared less about who he blamed.
As he got older, if he needed someone to blame, I was just as good as anyone else. His need to blame was so great, that love went out the window. For a long time you can cover that up, and make excuses, but the people around you will figure it out, and one day, they will figure out, that how you treated them, was how you treated everyone else, horribly.
Friend, right now, I would like you to make a choice, about the future of your life. How do you want to be? Do you want to be responsible for how you treat others, and live in the planes of happiness and joy, or do you want to keep running, making excuses, and keep blaming others for a weakness that you have not dealt with.
Friend, do not be discouraged by your weakness, have hope that you can be encouraged. I saw a quote in the movie Kingsman, which was from Hemingway, which said this “It is not noble to be superior to others. Nobleness is being superior to your former self.” I would take that to heart, the real enemy is yourself. What ever you choose to hold onto that is what becomes of you. My Father chose to cling to the most negative things in his life, and so he had a very difficult and faced a lot of struggles in his life. When he chose to find help, he only looked for people that agreed with him, who supported his excuses, but that did him no good.
When you look to change from within, cling to that which is noble, which is good, which is worthy, with is worth your pursuit in life. Do not return to others, what has been handed to you, but return more than what you had, and in better condition, and in better shape. If you were given poor knowledge, share great wisdom in its place.
You are, who you aim to become. Though take time to self-reflect, so that you have a chance to make sure you are being true to yourself, and true to your nature. The worst deception, is to be divided in your mind and heart, and not even know who you really are. Be well, and take care my friend.